I have decided that I need the following to make my Life partly complete:
1. Bright, Blood-red, Honda. The Bike, not the Car.
2. If 1 is not possible, then Midnight Black Skoda
3. Olde Style Fountain Pen that writeth like Silk.
And not necessarily in that order!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Vive Le Independance!
Vive la Victory!
Victory against British Rule, you ask? No, this is not about Satyagraha, Passive resistance, Mangal Pandey, Sepoy Mutiny, Spinning cotton or White Caps. Yes, tomorrow is indeed Independance Day, and I WILL be misty-eyed, firm-resolved and will feel a surge of pride with every patriotic thought / act. No doubts there. But that is not what I speak of.
I am pointing rather vaguely in the direction of the flood of work-related happenings and doings and yet-to-be-taken-care-ofs that has swept through my life the past few weeks. Not unlike the recent rainwater floods, when I survey the damage to the brain cells. (No, I am not insensitive to the real-life tragedies and the unneccessary, yet unavoidable, loss of lives that has ensued. We, Indians, are not strangers to tragedy and that in itself is immesurably sad)
This long weekend (THREE WHOLE DAYS!) has been a great break from work, at home, with the folks (the geriatrics, as my suicidal brother, Hem, calls them), kitchen experiments...not the brain-transplant kind, more the "how many eggs in the cake?" variety!...and lots, and lots of lovely weather. A weekend of silly frogs croaking in discord all through the night (sheesh!! How do these people ever sleep!!!!), a loony dog who is currently pining for an imaginary lady-love and stories of creepy snakes wandering through the garden, making an occasional visit to one of the bedrooms (UGH!). Loving the feeling of not having to harbour more than half a thought in my head, for any length of time, during the long, lazy day. Loving the half-cups of chai and coffee my dad and I are sharing, and the crazy hindi tv soaps my mom and I are watching (logic be darned...we get our giggles poking fun at the outfits!).
And come Tuesday, will have to shift back into overdrive and then the race will begin, non-stop, from far too early in the mornings. But atleast, that is still a day and a half away, and till then, am still on my weekend :o)
Victory against British Rule, you ask? No, this is not about Satyagraha, Passive resistance, Mangal Pandey, Sepoy Mutiny, Spinning cotton or White Caps. Yes, tomorrow is indeed Independance Day, and I WILL be misty-eyed, firm-resolved and will feel a surge of pride with every patriotic thought / act. No doubts there. But that is not what I speak of.
I am pointing rather vaguely in the direction of the flood of work-related happenings and doings and yet-to-be-taken-care-ofs that has swept through my life the past few weeks. Not unlike the recent rainwater floods, when I survey the damage to the brain cells. (No, I am not insensitive to the real-life tragedies and the unneccessary, yet unavoidable, loss of lives that has ensued. We, Indians, are not strangers to tragedy and that in itself is immesurably sad)
This long weekend (THREE WHOLE DAYS!) has been a great break from work, at home, with the folks (the geriatrics, as my suicidal brother, Hem, calls them), kitchen experiments...not the brain-transplant kind, more the "how many eggs in the cake?" variety!...and lots, and lots of lovely weather. A weekend of silly frogs croaking in discord all through the night (sheesh!! How do these people ever sleep!!!!), a loony dog who is currently pining for an imaginary lady-love and stories of creepy snakes wandering through the garden, making an occasional visit to one of the bedrooms (UGH!). Loving the feeling of not having to harbour more than half a thought in my head, for any length of time, during the long, lazy day. Loving the half-cups of chai and coffee my dad and I are sharing, and the crazy hindi tv soaps my mom and I are watching (logic be darned...we get our giggles poking fun at the outfits!).
And come Tuesday, will have to shift back into overdrive and then the race will begin, non-stop, from far too early in the mornings. But atleast, that is still a day and a half away, and till then, am still on my weekend :o)
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Lanky Vs. The Blowfish - The Great Game Again
There's the version of the Great Game that pits the renting rodents against the Landlords of the universe. And there's the part that pits dwarves against trolls...buyers.vs.sellers! The bloodiest version of the Game ever played!
Consider this average Joe Lean and Lanky walking down the road one day, when he is taken by the sudden thought : Why rent, when I can own! And as every Detritus and Vimes will tell you, this is when the little pebbles start moving inexorably towards the lip of the cliff.
Ofcourse, Lean and Lanky, not knowing the theory of the pebbles, goes forth and whom should he meet but Brigadier Blowfish who, lo and behold, has a flat to sell! The Game begins.
Lean and Lanky offers, Blowfish demurs. Not losing hope, Lean stretches his mental wallet and plays another hand. And another hand. And yet another hand. The Blowfish accepts! Now comes the time for all great players to crack their knuckles in earnest...The Deal.
The Deal is not just something you see at the tables of Las Vegas, but is a timeless dance through which the seller leads the buyer. One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, step, twirl...and if you miss the beat, you'll trip your way right out. If you are lucky, you won't leave with a bloody nose.
Lean and Lanky, though born leftfooted (in the way some people are congenitally left handed!), stomps his way through the dance. But only just. The pebbles are rolling in earnest now, and are picking up baby boulders on the way!
Keen as mustard to buy and move into his new home , Lean and Lanky is all set to leave his current digs and has togged off his landlord. But where will he go?! For while Brigadier Blowfish is dancing, it's a different tune that Lean and Lanky has to step to. The Blowfish may have agreed to sell, but he has not yet agreed to clear out of the flat in time! There, the boulders have just tipped over the edge and are thundering they way down. If Brigadier Blowfish does not plan to hand the flat over before Lean and Lanky's Landlord heaves and hoes, the baby boulders will be just the beginning of the landslide. In big flashing red letters.
Lucky for Lanky that being a Blowfish takes money, and the Brigadier is equally keen to see the color of Lean's money. So they stumble through the dance, and its now the last play of the Game.
Lean being a fast learner, has picked up a few tricks along the way, and is all set to see this hand go his way. The papers are signed, stamped and registered, and Lean and Lanky forks over; but holds back just enough to ensure that the Brigadier packs his bags and blows out of the way as agreed. Roll of Dice - Game to Lanky.
The Blowfish deflated, and a flat tucked under his arm, Lean and Lanky steps out of the Game and struts away, whistling a merry tune. The Game played out his way this time...but just barely. A more formidable opponent, a more relentless seller, and one more would have been laid low by The Great Game!
Consider this average Joe Lean and Lanky walking down the road one day, when he is taken by the sudden thought : Why rent, when I can own! And as every Detritus and Vimes will tell you, this is when the little pebbles start moving inexorably towards the lip of the cliff.
Ofcourse, Lean and Lanky, not knowing the theory of the pebbles, goes forth and whom should he meet but Brigadier Blowfish who, lo and behold, has a flat to sell! The Game begins.
Lean and Lanky offers, Blowfish demurs. Not losing hope, Lean stretches his mental wallet and plays another hand. And another hand. And yet another hand. The Blowfish accepts! Now comes the time for all great players to crack their knuckles in earnest...The Deal.
The Deal is not just something you see at the tables of Las Vegas, but is a timeless dance through which the seller leads the buyer. One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, step, twirl...and if you miss the beat, you'll trip your way right out. If you are lucky, you won't leave with a bloody nose.
Lean and Lanky, though born leftfooted (in the way some people are congenitally left handed!), stomps his way through the dance. But only just. The pebbles are rolling in earnest now, and are picking up baby boulders on the way!
Keen as mustard to buy and move into his new home , Lean and Lanky is all set to leave his current digs and has togged off his landlord. But where will he go?! For while Brigadier Blowfish is dancing, it's a different tune that Lean and Lanky has to step to. The Blowfish may have agreed to sell, but he has not yet agreed to clear out of the flat in time! There, the boulders have just tipped over the edge and are thundering they way down. If Brigadier Blowfish does not plan to hand the flat over before Lean and Lanky's Landlord heaves and hoes, the baby boulders will be just the beginning of the landslide. In big flashing red letters.
Lucky for Lanky that being a Blowfish takes money, and the Brigadier is equally keen to see the color of Lean's money. So they stumble through the dance, and its now the last play of the Game.
Lean being a fast learner, has picked up a few tricks along the way, and is all set to see this hand go his way. The papers are signed, stamped and registered, and Lean and Lanky forks over; but holds back just enough to ensure that the Brigadier packs his bags and blows out of the way as agreed. Roll of Dice - Game to Lanky.
The Blowfish deflated, and a flat tucked under his arm, Lean and Lanky steps out of the Game and struts away, whistling a merry tune. The Game played out his way this time...but just barely. A more formidable opponent, a more relentless seller, and one more would have been laid low by The Great Game!
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
The Family Descends on Lamlin Cottage
The menagerie decided to take that long-discussed family holiday at the cottage in Ooty...so come one breezy weekend in July, we bundled into the car and drove up into the blue hills.
While most roadtrips are a pleasure, for me (when driving in comfort with the A/C going!), the trips up to Ooty go a few dollops beyond....I love the way you can see the road snaking across the plains and winding up into the hills, I love the way the foliage changes and the temperature drops as we go higher. I especially love the smell of the Eucalyptus and the conifers, and I love the silence that suddenly blankets you.
You just cannot beat the way the oh-so-important things from your life back at the city slowly, but surely, get stripped away and evaporate. No worries, no intrusive phone calls, no emails, no meetings, and MOST importantly, no deadlines. Life marches to a different drummer up here in the hills, and only thing knocking at your door is likely to be a woodpecker!
Coming back to our menagerie, we spent the weekend lounging around the cottage, drinking tea while watching the sunset (technicolor, widescreen!!), and listening to the sounds of silence. And my brother spent most of that time shivering...the boy is hopeless in the cold!!
Am taking a page (post?) out of Vee's and Dent's blogs and bunging in a collage here of the pics I took...my favorites are the ones I call 'Big Red Hiding Hood', 'Cawwots!' and 'The House Keeper'....see if you can't pick them out!
While most roadtrips are a pleasure, for me (when driving in comfort with the A/C going!), the trips up to Ooty go a few dollops beyond....I love the way you can see the road snaking across the plains and winding up into the hills, I love the way the foliage changes and the temperature drops as we go higher. I especially love the smell of the Eucalyptus and the conifers, and I love the silence that suddenly blankets you.
You just cannot beat the way the oh-so-important things from your life back at the city slowly, but surely, get stripped away and evaporate. No worries, no intrusive phone calls, no emails, no meetings, and MOST importantly, no deadlines. Life marches to a different drummer up here in the hills, and only thing knocking at your door is likely to be a woodpecker!
Coming back to our menagerie, we spent the weekend lounging around the cottage, drinking tea while watching the sunset (technicolor, widescreen!!), and listening to the sounds of silence. And my brother spent most of that time shivering...the boy is hopeless in the cold!!
Am taking a page (post?) out of Vee's and Dent's blogs and bunging in a collage here of the pics I took...my favorites are the ones I call 'Big Red Hiding Hood', 'Cawwots!' and 'The House Keeper'....see if you can't pick them out!
Friday, July 22, 2005
Uncommon Sense
One of my grand-uncles used to say that common sense is most uncommon. And while he only used to gently direct this at his beloved better-half, hoping to rile her, it occurs to me that this applies to a much larger set of people out there **indicating the world at large**
This is no idle statement ; I have had more that just a few such uncommonly sensible people trip across my lifeline, to bring affirmation to this thought.
For example, the special breed that comprises the 'IT Helpdesk' of many an organization. It takes a formidable amount of uncommon sense to manage the IT setup of any organization and to keep users separated from their data and crucial files. And come those moonlit nights when harddrives everywhere crash, these intrepid souls take it upon themselves to restore that which is your lifeline. Except that this invariably fails to include the following, hence turning said lifeline into a greased rope:
A few other precious gems, who must not go unmentioned, are
This is no idle statement ; I have had more that just a few such uncommonly sensible people trip across my lifeline, to bring affirmation to this thought.
For example, the special breed that comprises the 'IT Helpdesk' of many an organization. It takes a formidable amount of uncommon sense to manage the IT setup of any organization and to keep users separated from their data and crucial files. And come those moonlit nights when harddrives everywhere crash, these intrepid souls take it upon themselves to restore that which is your lifeline. Except that this invariably fails to include the following, hence turning said lifeline into a greased rope:
- Current Email
- Email Archives
- Working files
- Favorites Lists
- Desktop files
A few other precious gems, who must not go unmentioned, are
- Waiters who set only spoons on the table when you have just ordered spaghetti or a steak
- Dhobis who will carefully iron out the tuck-in fold on the bottom of your jeans that you got done when you shortened them
- Utility services that terminate your service for failure to pay your bills on time, when they dispatch the bill on/two days after the due date
- Parking attendants who line up cars so close, ahead of, behind and next to your car, that you can only get in and out of there by apparating
I could go on...but I don't think I will. I think I will leave the rest of this precious lot for you to discover on your own.
Monday, July 18, 2005
**Sniffle**
Life is tasteless.
Literally.
Coz' am coming down with a cold. My tongue has died and gone over to the other side. And my throat is aching to follow. Aching being the operative word. And my eyes are burning. And my head is hurting. And I am seeing big huge purple spots, sort of like a world of Barneys on rampage (inclusive of the irritating *naah naah naah, you love me, blah blah blah* jingle).
All I want to do, is die.
If I can't get that, then all I want is a hot mug of sweet tea, or some hot-n-sour chicken soup, or a peanut butter sandwich, and a snuggly comforter (Mom, if you can't make it, pls send me a razaai)
!
Literally.
Coz' am coming down with a cold. My tongue has died and gone over to the other side. And my throat is aching to follow. Aching being the operative word. And my eyes are burning. And my head is hurting. And I am seeing big huge purple spots, sort of like a world of Barneys on rampage (inclusive of the irritating *naah naah naah, you love me, blah blah blah* jingle).
All I want to do, is die.
If I can't get that, then all I want is a hot mug of sweet tea, or some hot-n-sour chicken soup, or a peanut butter sandwich, and a snuggly comforter (Mom, if you can't make it, pls send me a razaai)
!
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Giving in to temptation
It was the moment of truth. Either I could or I couldn't.
Oh, I wanted to...really wanted to. Had wanted to for as long as I could remember. And hadn't for longer than I could forget.
I looked out the window, past the floating curtains....I could almost imagine giving in...feel it against my skin...oh, I wanted to be a part of it.
Faint cries carried to me, words swept away by the wind....the Call was strong.
That was it; I could stand it no longer. To hell with what people thought, or what it looked like, I didn't care anymore. I had to...just had to.
So...I grabbed my Speedos, hauled them on, and stepped out in what can only be termed a nightmare of a swimsuit round.
One big splash later, I was there. In the pool, swimming, happy.
Water Baby! :o)
Oh, I wanted to...really wanted to. Had wanted to for as long as I could remember. And hadn't for longer than I could forget.
I looked out the window, past the floating curtains....I could almost imagine giving in...feel it against my skin...oh, I wanted to be a part of it.
Faint cries carried to me, words swept away by the wind....the Call was strong.
That was it; I could stand it no longer. To hell with what people thought, or what it looked like, I didn't care anymore. I had to...just had to.
So...I grabbed my Speedos, hauled them on, and stepped out in what can only be termed a nightmare of a swimsuit round.
One big splash later, I was there. In the pool, swimming, happy.
Water Baby! :o)
Monday, July 11, 2005
His fleet is bigger than mine...I wanna new one!
Airline companies....now this has to be the latest in keeping-up-with-the-Kumars! Everyone is doing it...beer barons, maharajas...am sure you and I will be the next!
Here's my vision for my airline company : Taz Air - "Fly However You Want!"
**Dopey grin on face, with brain-in-cloud look in eyes**
Over and Out.
Here's my vision for my airline company : Taz Air - "Fly However You Want!"
- Budget option fly-it-yourself two seaters, with packs of peanut butter sandwiches and tea under the seats (disastrous results if used as parachutes),
- Family flying by hot-air baloon, with double-decker baskets (bottom deck with built in library, bean bags, pets and snack counters), and
- The Grand Flying Businessman, which comes with technology that cellphone usage DOES NOT interfere with (for all those who married their phones, or atleast have a torrid affair going), diet meals (we match all them crazy diets out there...you name 'em!), and a laundromat for the exec on the move.
**Dopey grin on face, with brain-in-cloud look in eyes**
Over and Out.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Radio Silence
On account of certain vital cogs in the wheel deciding to resign and move on in Life, Taz is up to her neck, her halo and her guardian angel (he usually hovers at 15ooo feet) in work, work and more work. So not be expecting anything out of her! No brilliance, no opinions, no rants, no raves...nothing...not a peep. Nada. Zip.
The Taz has left the room, Ladies and Gentlemen.
And will think about coming back in only after a week or so....till then, be good, play hard, and don't do anything I wouldn't do!
The Taz has left the room, Ladies and Gentlemen.
And will think about coming back in only after a week or so....till then, be good, play hard, and don't do anything I wouldn't do!
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Cooking...Crab-style
All women can cook. And cook well.
At least, that is what most people take for granted here, this being a country of major stereotypes and gender typecasting. That's not to say that women in India have not progressed out of the kitchen and into the workplace, and have not made a mark in the world and build a space for themselves in a society dominated by the male psyche.
That's not it at all.
What it is, is that this crab never really progressed from the workplace into the kitchen. And cannot cook. Not well at all.
My forays into the kitchen (usually on account of ill-fated enthusiasm) have ended in feasts of:
At least, that is what most people take for granted here, this being a country of major stereotypes and gender typecasting. That's not to say that women in India have not progressed out of the kitchen and into the workplace, and have not made a mark in the world and build a space for themselves in a society dominated by the male psyche.
That's not it at all.
What it is, is that this crab never really progressed from the workplace into the kitchen. And cannot cook. Not well at all.
My forays into the kitchen (usually on account of ill-fated enthusiasm) have ended in feasts of:
- Aloo a la Crème (Potato paste with garnish)
- Carrot Morukolumbu (Sweet carrot chunks in gravy of yoghurt and coconut milk, tempered with dried red chillies)
- Khichda (Spicy Steamed Rice and Lentil paste - one portion feeds family of ten)
- Pasta Indienne (Fettuccine dressed in white sauce, made of milk and Maggi-style masala tastemaker)
And yet, am preparing for yet-another charge of the light brigade when I dish up dinner for 8 this weekend. Methinks Peas Pulao, Mutton Curry and Kashmiri Dum Aloo. And maybe, keeping the general good of mankind in mind, I just may use actual recipes. From actual cook books, this time
Ah, the tenacious spirit of the Crab...May I marry a man who can cook. And cook well.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Testing Flickr - Volume Two
Testing out the posting by email option here...this time with his
majesty, Charlie 'Stupid' Brown! Love this crazy dog...!
majesty, Charlie 'Stupid' Brown! Love this crazy dog...!
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
At the risk of having a brick thrown at my head for using this blog to share an email forward, I am going to just that...this commencement address by Steve Jobs hit a chord somewhere in me, and I just have to share it:
"Stanford Report, June 14, 2005
’You’ve got to find what you love,' Jobs says
This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky – I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me – I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much. "
"Stanford Report, June 14, 2005
’You’ve got to find what you love,' Jobs says
This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.
I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky – I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me – I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much. "
Monday, June 20, 2005
Testing Flickr
Testing out Flickr's photo posting tools...hope this works better than Picasa!
For those who have never met them, this be my mom and dad, way back in 1980...wot a couple, I say! :o)
For those who have never met them, this be my mom and dad, way back in 1980...wot a couple, I say! :o)
Carpe Jugulum
I finally read a Vampire - sorry, Vampyre! - book that did not turn my blood to ice and did not leave me rigid with fear. Thus far any mild wave in the direction of elongated canines, and related gore, Buffy inclusive, has typically left me sleepless (atleast till I drop off out of sheer exhausion...fear just has to wait till I wake up!), shaky and apt not to look too closely at mirrors. Never know whose reflection I will not see in there!
But Terry Pratchett gives Vampyres a whole new spin...I don't know how he managed it, what with all the usual aspects of vampyre lore and then some. But I not only managed to get through the book with both my jugular and sanity intact, I also got through two nights of sleeping next to the window (one, in an empty house, all on my ownsome!), and actually woke up fighting fit! And no, that was not because I turned into a bloodsucker over night! For someone who can't even have Bram Stoker kept in visible range, this is a spine-strengthener of huge proportions! Don't get me wrong...this is not to say the book isn't good; it is so good I intend to go back and read it again.
All I can say is...Carpe Pratchett! And when next I meet a Vampyre, I may just offer it a nice cup of tea!
But Terry Pratchett gives Vampyres a whole new spin...I don't know how he managed it, what with all the usual aspects of vampyre lore and then some. But I not only managed to get through the book with both my jugular and sanity intact, I also got through two nights of sleeping next to the window (one, in an empty house, all on my ownsome!), and actually woke up fighting fit! And no, that was not because I turned into a bloodsucker over night! For someone who can't even have Bram Stoker kept in visible range, this is a spine-strengthener of huge proportions! Don't get me wrong...this is not to say the book isn't good; it is so good I intend to go back and read it again.
All I can say is...Carpe Pratchett! And when next I meet a Vampyre, I may just offer it a nice cup of tea!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Flat Fret
Do you sometimes get the feeling that you are not quite sure if you are coming or going? Do you sometimes worry about meeting yourself in the midst of all the coming and going?! I sure do! Atleast, these days!
I am going mildly crazy (hah!), racing against time, getting things in place for the housewarming at my parents' flat tomorrow. Its Murphy's Law all over again! Between the electrician and the carpenter and the painter, and all the things they are wonderful at getting wrong, I am edging closer and closer to meltdown.
Work at office is but a brief break from chronic marble-loss...in another couple of hours, I am going to be back at the flat, courting disaster all over again. This is a totally different side to the Great Game!
Wish me luck...
I am going mildly crazy (hah!), racing against time, getting things in place for the housewarming at my parents' flat tomorrow. Its Murphy's Law all over again! Between the electrician and the carpenter and the painter, and all the things they are wonderful at getting wrong, I am edging closer and closer to meltdown.
Work at office is but a brief break from chronic marble-loss...in another couple of hours, I am going to be back at the flat, courting disaster all over again. This is a totally different side to the Great Game!
Wish me luck...
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
The Story of Creation - Book of the Foodies!
I have to thank Vee for sending this out today; it came as a very welcome chocolate swirly topping on a day filled with numbers, numbers and oh, so many more numbers! So am sharing this here, for all you Foodies out there...
"In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMO's. "
"In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMO's. "
Monday, June 13, 2005
Lunchtime Lament
I don't know about you, but come lunchtime, I absolutely detest having to eat on my own. Absolutely. Detest. As in Hate. As in Won't Do It. And Will Stay Hungry, even!
I have to have someone to go to lunch with...and not random strangers who share my table, mind you. This has to be a friend, or collegue, or customer, or partner, or even my dog! And a book will just not cut the mustard, here.
This written-in-rock stance, funnily enough, does not apply to breakfast, elevenses, teatime grub, dinner, and midnight snacks. Those I breeze through on my own. Prefer to be alone, even, sometimes. Catch up on all that reading or make those phone calls that need to get out of the way.
But lunch is another matter. Why? Search me! That's just the way it is :o(
I have to have someone to go to lunch with...and not random strangers who share my table, mind you. This has to be a friend, or collegue, or customer, or partner, or even my dog! And a book will just not cut the mustard, here.
This written-in-rock stance, funnily enough, does not apply to breakfast, elevenses, teatime grub, dinner, and midnight snacks. Those I breeze through on my own. Prefer to be alone, even, sometimes. Catch up on all that reading or make those phone calls that need to get out of the way.
But lunch is another matter. Why? Search me! That's just the way it is :o(
Lazy Sunday
After a really long time I spent yesterday doing almost absolutely nothing. Watching movies, sleeping, reading, more movies, more sleeping....A Totally Lazy Sunday. The best kind there is.
Friday, June 10, 2005
Unplugged and Unfettered
You look so calm and serene, said a colleague of mine yesterday, commenting on the total peace with which I was going about my day.
I smiled. For I had found the secret to serenity in today's world.
No, I had not graced any 'Art of Living' courses held by multiple 'Shris' nor had I attained religious enlightenment. And I certainly hadn't sold any Ferraris.
All I had done was something totally in character, for me, as anyone who knows me will agree. I had locked my keys in my room. Keys inside, Lock outside. And that wasn't even the best part! Said keys were in my purse. Along with my wallet. And Cellphone.
There...I've just let the cat out of the bag! Or cellphone, in my case.
My life has become so dependent on that shrill piece of plastic, without my noticing, that I HAVE TO BE constantly connected. What if my mom calls? What if my boss has to reach me? How will that delivery boy get here, if he can't call me?! What if my friends can't find me?! I have rarely stirred without carrying my 'phone...exception only being when I am in the washroom. I even awake-arise to the screaming of my 'phone alarm!
To have this keystone (millstone?) suddenly disappear, actually gave me a feeling of relief so profound, I never realised how completely sick I have actually become of being online and reachable. I could go where I wanted, when I wanted, and anyone who wanted to speak to me just HAD TO WAIT till I got around to calling them. If at all. If this doesn't loosen the fetters on the soul, I don't know what does (No Vee...chocolate doesn't even come close!)
Don't just take my word for it...go lose your cellphone for a day, and see if you don't feel a few years younger! **
I had my moment of peace yesterday and, though I am back online today, I am turning over a whole new leaf! My soul no longer dances to the tunes of a cellphone. Hah!
**DISCLAIMER: Not to be attempted if you are one of those poor things who have sold their souls to the Mobility Devil. This writer is not responsible for any consequences arising from such a situation!
I smiled. For I had found the secret to serenity in today's world.
No, I had not graced any 'Art of Living' courses held by multiple 'Shris' nor had I attained religious enlightenment. And I certainly hadn't sold any Ferraris.
All I had done was something totally in character, for me, as anyone who knows me will agree. I had locked my keys in my room. Keys inside, Lock outside. And that wasn't even the best part! Said keys were in my purse. Along with my wallet. And Cellphone.
There...I've just let the cat out of the bag! Or cellphone, in my case.
My life has become so dependent on that shrill piece of plastic, without my noticing, that I HAVE TO BE constantly connected. What if my mom calls? What if my boss has to reach me? How will that delivery boy get here, if he can't call me?! What if my friends can't find me?! I have rarely stirred without carrying my 'phone...exception only being when I am in the washroom. I even awake-arise to the screaming of my 'phone alarm!
To have this keystone (millstone?) suddenly disappear, actually gave me a feeling of relief so profound, I never realised how completely sick I have actually become of being online and reachable. I could go where I wanted, when I wanted, and anyone who wanted to speak to me just HAD TO WAIT till I got around to calling them. If at all. If this doesn't loosen the fetters on the soul, I don't know what does (No Vee...chocolate doesn't even come close!)
Don't just take my word for it...go lose your cellphone for a day, and see if you don't feel a few years younger! **
I had my moment of peace yesterday and, though I am back online today, I am turning over a whole new leaf! My soul no longer dances to the tunes of a cellphone. Hah!
**DISCLAIMER: Not to be attempted if you are one of those poor things who have sold their souls to the Mobility Devil. This writer is not responsible for any consequences arising from such a situation!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
