Families

(Originally written 9th February 2004)

Families can be funny things. Most of us grow up in one, are a part of one, and yet, none of us really have one. Why? Because, when the chips are down, the human race looks out for itself. Alone.

We drift through life, some of us perhaps with more energy than others; and always, always, we like to think we are a part of something, have a role to play somewhere. It could be in a family of friends, a family at work, a family at our favorite restaurant or bar, or even a family of like-minded people across borders. Fraternities. Sororities. Bonds of brotherhood or sisterhood or fellowship. An artificial sense of belonging that seeks to fill the void of any real association.

Shared celebrations and holidays are not all that being a family is about. Yet, that is all that we seek. The camaraderie, the warm glows, the hugs and kisses, the back-slapping and laughter. And what we firmly turn our gaze away from is the sleepless nights, the shared burdens, the fears and grief that leave a bitter taste in the mouth and a chill in the heart. The altercations, the jealousy, the meanness, the spite, the blood and the tears; these are what help us forget that we wanted this family. That we wanted the other side of this coin. That the summer and the winter always follow each other, relentlessly.

We are a selfish species, one that seeks the rainbow on the horizon, but is not willing to walk the back-breaking, foot-sore miles to reach it. We want families that we can laugh with, but refuse to cry with. We want to be families, yet know nothing of what a family is.

Families are funny things. So are we.